I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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