i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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