Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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