Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
