DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
