Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
