I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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