She's JV to your varsity
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
