You're my little dorito
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
