just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
