the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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