Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize