Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
