if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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