these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Found the puke drawer
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize