Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize