I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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