Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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