You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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