He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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