I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
