She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
