Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
