Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
