I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
