Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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