i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
