Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
