Don't make out with my wife yet
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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