Betty ford says i'm here all night
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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