I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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