She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
