I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
