Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.

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(760): View more from California

blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.

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(541): View more from Oregon

he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him

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(281): View more from Texas

I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.

(979): View more from Texas

I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body

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(256): View more from Alabama

Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits

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