i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
