"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
