Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
