I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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