how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
