if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
