Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
the room spins SO much faster in panama
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize