it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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