So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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