We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize