i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
