sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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