You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Pappa wants mamma naked
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
is that a dick in a sweater?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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