she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize