six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
