It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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