do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
