I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Found your dick twin last night
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
