I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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