And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Is Oprah even human
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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