so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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