Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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