real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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