i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
